“High Level Take: Missed the mark, wasted $20, 1 hour and 55 min ill never get back, $9 water, stale popcorn, and oh, the movie was not good. The end.
The above sentence sums it up, but I’ll go into more detail. While in Dallas, TX Nathan of Mitchell Defense and I had actually finished early on Thursday (16 May 2024). It was too early to get dinner so we were like “let’s do something mindless”, so we chose to see the movie CIVIL WAR.
For those that know me, I enjoy post-apocalyptic books and movies. This dates back to when I was a kid and my Dad introduced me to the classic Solient Green. If you
really want to have your eyes open watch that movie, then watch Omega Man (I AM Legend is a remake of this film), Logans Run (In Time with Justin Timberlake is a close remake of this), Mad Max, Roller Baller with James Cann, and the list goes on.
Nathan and I went into this movie with no exaptation’s and really hoping it was not going to be an anti-American “WOKE” piece. The story had a chance had they made it into a 10-part series on Netflix. But the threw a bunch of crap at the wall got some decent actors to carry the weight in the event to fill seats in the theater teased it as we enter the season of “peaceful protest” and released it.
It would have been great to see the actual succession of Texas, Florida and Californian. I feel like quoting Kevin Heart “you’re not gonna just go by what you said without saying what you said” or something like that. We really wanted to know how Cali sided with TX and FL, that in itself would have been a great story. But they
brushed over it. If you have seen the movie BUSHWICK, not very good but good enough to watch. They do a great job getting you up to speed as who/what is happing as it happens. In Civil War it had been happing for a while and they brushed over it. They did demonstrate white house propaganda and make the White House look like its run by an idiot; kind of like it is now but this isn’t about that…
The foreshadowing portrayed in Civil War of the young aspiring strong adventurous female war correspondent who meets her idol and learns on the fly is what kept my attention. There is a hotel scene that remined me of the early 2000’s when there were TOO many civilian reports in country to cover the war. They also touch on currency and apparently the bottom fell out of the US Dollar and the Canadian currency was the currency of choice. But no explanation on that either.
They did capture the worst in society, or how far people fell FAST. They built up this trip from NY to DC to interview the president. There was character building on the young female reporter the seasoned veteran and her camera man. There were other strap hangers along the way but mostly there to transition into the next scene with their death.
They finally link up with 2 other video journalists at the resistant of the western front, I think that’s what it was called. It was a full-on Military outpost in Maryland (I think) that was going to move on DC and take it down, capture/kill the president and hit the reset button. This is where the movie came off the rails. SO bad that I laughed out loud at the buffoonery on the screen. This did get a lot of side eye thrown my way, which also made me laugh.
They made DC look like it did when they brought in the national guard, put up all the fences and border walls. They also built it up that the president was just living out his last days in the actual white house, not in the underground bunker but in the white house. The military that sided with the white house fell rather quickly. There was a decoy with 3 armored limos to make it look like the president was escaping, and spoiler it wasn’t him. But it left the front entry point unguarded. Now the main 3 reporters link up with a special ops team I think.. Wait actually the reporters were like it’s a decoy and while everyone was shooting the limos, they were like lets go inside and find the prez. That’s when the small unit was like hey follow them.
Let’s get this out there. The dynamic of this team was keystone cops. There were 3 or 4 men who’s uniforms resembled special operation types and there were 3 or 4 conventional solders. The senior was a female E7 (Kirsten Dunst- an odd choice for this role). Apparently, they all had orders to kill the president and there would a reward that followed. The special ops guys fell in line with the non-special operations E7 and it just didn’t make sense. Alex I’ll take things that would never happen for $10000000000 please. There a few secret service dudes left, there’s a gun fight as they converge to the president’s location in his office. But this is where there is a changing fo the guard.
The lead female reporter gets shot up and dies. Earlier in the movie the young one asked if I get killed will you take the picture of my death. Well, it happened but the other way around. This is where I laugh like I was at a comedy show, not cause of the dead reporter. Because of the final shot of her and the picture. She died running across the hallway and drops. There is expent brass everywhere but wait it was live rounds. Yes, there were piles of live green tip all over the floor. This was so bad I look at Nathan and was like I’m sorry I suggest this movie hahahahha.
So they make it to the president, kill the remining secret service agent and have the prez at gun point on his back. The male reporter’s purpose for this trip was to be the one to interview the man who had not done an interview in 2 years. He stops the assault force from shooting and says “give me a quote”. The prez says something like don’t kill me and the reporter says “that’s it” walks away and the female E7 gets the kill shot.
I believe that was the end of the movie. So in summary, Civil War missed the mark, it made everyone look like an idiot. It does not even make it into the top 100 post-apocalyptic films. Everyone in that film should have to do community service on the side of the highway for the rest of their lives.
Thank you for staying with me this far. Let us know what other films you’d like me to review for you. No, I will not do Barbie so don’t even ask. Seriously, what are you ready for, what are you prepared for. We are in uncharted waters. I am not fear mongering but we all need to be working to strengthen our neighborhoods, our communities. Get to know your neighbors, create your team. Remember you team isn’t just shooters, you need farmers, vets, Dr’s, educators, electricians, mechanics etc. Remember If you Stay Ready you Don’t have to Get Ready.”
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